This series is called: Grief and Grace: Finding Light in the Darkest Moments

When Grief Comes Knocking Again  

Grief isn’t a stranger to me, but this time, it felt like an ambush. Eight days before my birthday, I lost my cousin—someone I considered a sister—to senseless gun violence. It shattered me, not just because of her tragic death, but because it echoed the loss of my best friend five years ago. She, too, was murdered, leaving behind her five-year-old daughter. It felt cruelly familiar, almost as though grief had marked my birthdays as milestones for heartbreak. This time, I couldn’t escape it. The memories, the pain, and the questions of “why” consumed me. For weeks, I spiraled, anticipating a pattern—wondering if every major life event would be shadowed by loss.  

Journey with me, ask yourself:   

1. When grief revisits old wounds, how do you nurture yourself differently than before?  

2. How do you honor the lives of those you’ve lost in a way that uplifts your own spirit?  

Encouragement Her: 

Grief is a testament to love, and even in the pain, your capacity to love remains infinite.  

SheGuides:

Consider journaling or creating a “memory ritual” to honor those you've lost while creating space for healing.  

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The Sunken Place: A Dark Season of the Soul 

After losing my cousin, I found myself sinking into a place I thought I’d escaped years ago. It was dark, isolating, and filled with anxiety about what might come next. Every thought was a question I couldn’t answer: *Why her? Why me?  I noticed a pattern forming—grief around my birthdays seemed inevitable. My mind raced with fears about my 40th birthday, imagining another loss. It became too much to bear. I withdrew, stepping away from social media and people who unknowingly drained me. I gave myself permission to not be okay and to sit with my emotions instead of masking them like I did years ago.  

Journey with me, ask yourself:   

1. How do you recognize when it’s time to pause and step away from everything?  

2. What small steps can you take to climb out of a dark place without rushing the process?  

Encourage Her  

Even in the darkness, you are allowed to protect your peace.  

SheGuides:   

Explore mindfulness practices such as meditation or yoga to reconnect with your inner self during challenging times.  

Grieving While Finding Joy  

Grief and joy feel like opposites, but this year, I learned they can coexist. In moments when I wanted to cry, laughter snuck in. On days when the weight of grief felt unbearable, a memory of my cousin’s smile brought unexpected warmth. For so long, I felt guilty for feeling joy in the midst of pain, as though happiness was a betrayal of my grief. But I’ve come to realize that joy doesn’t diminish the love I have for those I’ve lost—it honors it. It reminds me that life, even in its harshest moments, still has beauty worth embracing.  

Journey with me, ask yourself:   

1. How can you create space for both grief and joy without guilt?  

2. What moments of joy can you reflect on to remind yourself of the good in life?  

Encourage Her  

It’s okay to smile through tears; both are part of the healing process.  

Spend time doing something that brings you pure joy, even if only for a few moments.  

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Redefining Grief and Moving Forward 

Grief has a way of redefining you, whether you’re ready for it or not. This year, it taught me that healing isn’t about forgetting or “moving on.” It’s about integrating loss into my story while still choosing to move forward. I’m learning to grieve differently this time—to give myself grace, to find meaning in the memories, and to stop asking “why.” Instead, I focus on how I can live a life that honors those I’ve lost. Whether through self-care, mentoring others, or simply pausing to feel, I’m finding ways to keep their legacies alive.  

Journey with me, ask yourself:    

1. How has grief shaped your identity or the way you approach life?  

2. What lessons have you learned from your journey with grief?  

 Encourage Her  

Your grief is valid, but so is your growth.  

SheGuides 

Consider finding a grief support group or a trusted therapist to help you navigate your journey with compassion.